Finding a Match

This was the hardest part of the initial process, so far. It turns out, I had a more difficult matching process than most for some reason, so it was a lot of waiting and emotional ups and downs.

When I was sent my first profile, I wasn't sure what I should feel. This was all new to me and I remember being torn between being less emotional and agreeing to anyone who needed a surrogate and more emotional, knowing the type of journey I had envisioned. After a lot of discussion with my core people, I decided to decline the first profile. That was really hard for me, because I was very excited to get going and also because I was torn on how to feel and if what I felt was "right." Everyone kept telling me that when it was right, I would just know!

And they were right! My second profile was AMAZING. They were a same-sex couple in Europe, and I absolutely fell in love with them, as did my support people. They were outgoing and vulnerable, and shared pages and pages of photos about themselves and their lives. And, more than anything, they were so adamant that we were all in this together and how important their surrogate would be in their lives. It was so true - it just felt perfect. I said yes right away and waited on pins and needles to hear back from the IF's (intended fathers) to see if they agreed to match with me too. After a few days, I got the news that because of the overwhelming legal journey they would have to go through, they were pulling out. I was pretty sad. I really liked them and felt such a connection, even with just that single profile.

After this, I went through 3 more matching scenarios that each fell through for various reasons. At this point, I started to feel a little discouraged. But I kept the hope that what was meant to be, would be, and to be positive that it would all work out. My case worker called me several times throughout these months, feeling awful at how the process was unfolding for me, but I really made sure to let her know that it was no one's fault, and I just knew in my heart that the perfect couple would find their way to me.

Two months later, I was given the profile of an amazing couple. I loved them as much as I did the first profile I said yes to. They are a same-sex couple on the east coast and have the best personalities. Funny, and outgoing, and kind, and on the same page as me with wanting a potentially long term, open relationship. To respect their privacy, I won't say anything more specifically, but they are fantastic and exactly who I envisioned as partners in this journey. We both agreed to a Skype call, which went great, and on February 6, I was officially matched! YAY!